KAJANisme at it’s BEST

Hello everyone…

First of all, let me wish everyone a blessed merry Christmas!

Actually… I was thinking of a suitable title for this post… I thought of another, which is "Falling in love is so hard..", or the one that you actually see right now..

What actually links a monkey, and falling in love?? Guess what, it does for me, personally… Okay, I’ll be honest, I’m still single, actually SINGLE, not seeing anyone, and doesn’t have anyone special at the moment. Like any normal human being, yes, I do want to fall in love, get married, and have a family someday. Now comes the monkey part…

You know why I suddenly want to write about this? My church youth members, all the time asks me when will I get married… So does those uncles and aunties in my church. Whenever I went back to Miri, if I ever bump into relatives, that will be one their question… "Do you have a girlfriend? What? Cepat-cepatlah kawin, jangan tunggu-tunggu, you steady already what! Got career and everything". That’s the "monkey" that i was talking about! Incessant, or repetitious questions to ask me to marry… Enough! (Hehe.. okay, I may overdramatize this a bit though, but that doesn’t mean I like to be asked that question)

I appreciate their concern, and I’m sure they want what’s best for me. I’m entering my 26th year of existance… and some of my peers have settled down. I admit, if I have someone, I do consider settling down soon too.

It’s not easy for me to fall in love. I’m friendly, and yes, there are times I’ve been attracted to someone, but it has never been to the point of actually falling in love with someone.

For me, it will always start with attraction (A). Be it physical (sorry, but yes, mostly physical..) or emotional..(B) Then I’ll get to know her traits and characters, this too, will be major dealbreakers.. (C)Then, her status… If she’s not available /seeing someone, we’ll just proceed with friendship, but I do monitor the health of their relationship, to see whether I have the chance. Usually at this stage, the person still doesn’t know anything yet.(D) If/when she’s available, then I will make my move.. If she’s not interested, I’ll try my best, until she finally relent, or she had chosen someone else.

How has it been so far for me? I’ve been to (D)  only  3 times… that’s the time I consider myself in love.. though unfortunately, I’ve lost out to others. Though (A) happen a lot, I realized from experience that I’ve spent most emotional energy when I reach (D). It hurts to be passed over, to be rejected.

As much as I think I could offer the girl so much more that the guy she choose, but perhaps she knows better, and that’s just a bitter pill that I have to swallow.. Life goes on..

Honestly, though, I don’t need to have someone to make happy… I truly believe that you have to be happy on your own, only can you share your happiness with someone else. That’s the way it should be…
Me… Choosy? Maybe… But don’t worry about me… I can bounce back quickly, and yes, I do believe there someone out there for me. Just don’t rush me… Marriage is sacred, I only want to do it once, and it’s something that I want to be blessed and lasts a lifetime!